I met Joy in her apartment near Muswell Hill , London.
Her veranda overlooks a glorious garden that felt much more countryside than cityscape. She was about to celebrate her 94th birthday – friends were taking her out for lunch and to buy flowering plants for her patio.
Ginny, Walking Women’s owner asked me to visit Joy and take flowers for her birthday, as she is one of the oldest members of the Walking Women family and has been on 22 Walking Women holidays! Joy only hung up her hiking boots at the start of her tenth decade of life! I wanted to find out how her holidays with Walking Women had helped her through the many transitions that life had presented her with.
A graduate of French, she taught for 16 years in UK schools and then in Paris. When teaching no longer felt like the right fit for her she decided, in her forties, to retrain as a social worker and practice in London. She then moved on to working at Chase Farm Mental Health Unit for 13 years.
Joy takes up her story :
“ I retired at 60 and it’s interesting to think that I have now been retired for as long as I was at work ! But in many ways I haven’t ever really ‘retired’ . I’ve always been committed to working to improve the lives of others – often by joining pressure groups to fight for justice. I joined the Palestine Solidarity Campaign in 2004 where we were working for peace and justice for the Palestinian people. I went with the European Forum on a fact- finding mission to Palestine. I also volunteered in the PSC offices in London answering the phone and sending out what would now be called ‘merch’ by post. I am in absolute despair at what is happening there now – it’s terrible – although I believe that the two-state solution has been in jeopardy for a very long time.
In the 1980’s I joined the Muswell Hill CND group ( Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament) . There were about a hundred of us in the group- we went on marches, we protested at RAF Greenham Common and at RAF Molesworth . Both were home to USA nuclear- armed cruise missiles during the ‘cold war’ with Russia. The world was on a knife edge facing a nuclear armageddon as the two super powers, the USA and the USSR hovered their fingers over starting a nuclear war. Schools had to rehearse for a nuclear event by getting children to shelter under their desks after the nuclear siren went off. As if!
During the 1980’s hundreds of woman supported the Peace Camps at Greenham Common – many were violently removed. I made very close friends with about six women in my local group . One woman Lesley was a scene painter at the National Theatre- I treasure one of her pictures that she gave me. Marion was also a dear friend from the group- she was married to a Czech man and they had lived in Prague. He protested against the ruling Communist regime as part of the so called ‘Velvet Revolution’, but he was executed for speaking out and Marion was exiled with their two small children . It was unbearably sad. Eventually she was able to move to the UK .
Here we are almost a half century on and millions of people are still living with tyranny and without free-speech.
Another member of the CND group was Margot – she and I became very close. Margot was a keen walker and she shared her love of it with me too – without her I may not have discovered this passion in my life. We went on many walking holidays together until she died. I was devastated by her loss and grief took its painful course and I wondered if I would ever go walking again. Then one day there happened to be an article in The Guardian about a holiday in Patterdale in the Lake District with a travel company called ‘WalkingWomen’. It spoke to me and I thought I’d try to see if I could rekindle my love of walking without Margot, yet within a group of women.
So it was in my early seventies that I tried my first Walking Women holiday and I’ve been on 22 annual holidays since! It was only two years ago that I felt the need to hang up my hiking boots.
Although I was apprehensive about how walking with a group of strangers would be – I needn’t have worried. I found walking with a small group of women extraordinary. As you walk it is easy to fall in step and chat with everyone. With each woman I found I had something in common- perhaps a love of literature, a bereavement, a relationship breakdown or taking a break from caring responsibilities. It offered such a richness to share these intimate experiences and, for all of us it became part of our growth process. I also knew intuitively that this exchange of confidences was not going to be talked about elsewhere. Most of the groups I have been with have had this relatability- on the surface we may appear very different but have the ability to connect at a deep level. That trust is such a gift- the trust I was able to place in someone who only hours before had been a perfect stranger.
The holidays were full of interest, challenge and fun! One memorable one where we all made up limericks during supper! I always found the guides were extraordinary – they always have in-depth local knowledge , I felt really safe with them but also enjoyed the challenge of some beautiful hikes. My favourite trips were to Croatia, Guernsey – the spring flowers were so lovely, Normandy- the food was so good and Northumberland.
My last walk with Walking Women was ‘Sussex Songbirds’,
a glorious way to spend a spring weekend, the birds were heralding warmer days and lengthening daylight and a walk through the Knepp Estate reminded me that it’s never too late to rewild oneself.
Sussex Songbirds walking for women
( a note from WalkingWomen – we will be bringing this holiday back in 2027)
After my father died, I was a carer for my mother for 11 years , she was a demanding woman who was used to having her own way. I had to set very firm boundaries with her. It was such a treat on ‘Walking Women’ holidays to feel cared for. To stay in lovely hotels with good food provided, surrounded by compassionate women was wonderful . The guides were always exceptional at giving me the feeling I was ‘cared for’ . During a hike in the Lake District I ‘turned’ my ankle – nothing serious – but I definitely knew that they were there for me. I really got the feeling that if something major had happened I would have been well-looked after.
Walking Women holidays have been a very significant part of my life..
offering fun, friendship and a feeling of vitality. I have had an incredible life – rich in challenges and wealthy in friendships . Walking has helped me face and move through some of the most difficult of transitions . I’d like to thank ‘Walking Women’ for being there – creating the right space for reflection and redirection and ultimately in part, at least, my well-being.”
As I left Joy to catch the train home I reflected on what she had taught me.
She had approached all the transitions in her life with equanimity and poise. ‘This is necessary now’ – the acceptance that change is life’s constant companion, coupled with positivity and profound wisdom will stay with me. Joy struck me as someone who had worked hard to meet challenges with both pragmatism and equanimity. From time to time we find ourselves in liminal spaces where we know we need to leave something – or someone behind, but we don’t yet know what comes next – nor how we will get there . There’s a very real – and seemingly corny- connection between walking and comprehending what our next steps might be.
Thank you Joy for sharing with me and all the Walking Women readers your remarkable story.
