Something deep within us
Once in a while, in amongst all the demands of everyday life – earning money, caring responsibilities and putting the bins out, we get a glimpse of something deep within us -something we recognise as truly part of what makes us who we are. Our present selves may have got out of step with a part of us that is essential to our identity. It’s often something that we think we have lost, or a feeling so long buried that it is like unearthing a dusty treasure – it brings us utter joy and total happiness- and is related entirely to our innate sense of self and often defies a current belief we hold about ourselves. An experience that reminds us that we’ve ‘still got it’, something that feeds our soul and makes us feel truly alive.
Many academics have tried to explain these experiences and indeed what ‘self’ is! The psychologist Abraham Maslow called these ‘Peak Experiences’, profound moments of awe and intense joy – magic moments with heightened perception. Often these meaningful moments happen whilst we are in nature.
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi referred to ‘ Flow’, an optimal experience – the total involvement with life – happiness rediscovered. It often requires us to stretch ourselves – face a challenge and ultimately completely focus on an activity where you lose all track of time.
Rebecca Solnit in her ‘Field Guide to Getting Lost’, notes she was ‘Lost in the walking that set me loose in the moorings of time…….this isn’t about dislocation but about the immersion where everything else falls away’. She also talks of the Tibetan word shul – a print or track-mark that remains- the impression of something that used to be there.
That is what Walking Women is celebrating this spring -something buried that is very dear to our sense of self and yet remains open as a path.
And on that note, Elizabeth Gilbert reminds us to make conscious choices about which parts of ourselves to nourish, cultivate and bring into being.
Many women who have been on Walking Women holidays have told us that they have had moments like these. And although these moments of insight- sometimes even euphoria- cannot be scheduled or planned – it is possible to optimize the odds by creating the right conditions for them to happen!
Here’s walking woman Helen’s recipe for finding both happiness and ‘Peak Experience
I’ve had many passions in my life, but skiing, cycling and horse-riding were the activities I enjoyed the most and where I felt most ‘in the zone’. Sadly, I’ve had problems with my knees for quite some time and I can no longer do these. I’m on a waiting list for surgery – but I don’t seem to be getting any closer to the top of it!
In January, I felt drawn back to the snow again. I booked to go to on the winter holiday to Wengen, a car-free ski resort in Switzerland. I knew my knees wouldn’t tolerate skiing, but I wondered about snowshoeing instead.
I really enjoyed snowshoeing -it was wonderful to be walking in silence in pristine snow
the Bernese Alps that surrounded us adding majesty to our journey. Our guide, Vroni led us through the woods, pointing out the nature all around us, including the tracks of deer, hare and foxes. Snow removes all noise, both internal and external, giving space to hear our own inner voice – often for the first time in a while. That primal connection to nature in such an awe-inspiring landscape was for me, profound.
What it didn’t do however, was give me the adrenalin rush that I remembered from skiing ! So, I decided to try the optional activity of tobogganing- we used ski-lifts to get us to the top of the run. Under the gaze of the Eiger, sitting in the toboggan, cutting through the snow at adrenalin-rushed speed was electrifying, the focus of steering requiring both a mental agility and bodily flexibility that I didn’t know I still had!
You steer a toboggan with both your feet and body weight and lean backwards to go faster. Somehow that ‘shifting of weight’ either from horse riding or skiing was still instinctive in my muscle memory. It was fabulous to welcome it back into my life! It demanded my total physical and mental concentration which allowed no room for any other thoughts and gave me a complete break from the demands of everyday life – a unique blend of physical exhilaration and mental peace. I loved the sense of weightlessness and freedom – it was almost like flying.
Somehow I mistakenly managed to go off-piste, hurtling towards a jump some kids had made – it was a ‘ Tom and Jerry’ moment, where for a few seconds I was airborne and the women in the toboggans behind me all followed suit- it was so much fun, so exhilarating and I heard one woman behind me shout ‘I’ve wet my pants!’ . We all landed in a tumble, rolling with laughter in soft snow – a heap of exhilaration, achievement and deep, deep belly laughs .
And that’s my new mantra , life needs to be fun and to have many more deep belly-laughs.
Also, I’d completely forgotten-or didn’t want to recognise in myself- how much I love speed ! I used to ski fast, cycle fast and ride fast! How much I loved the adrenalin rush of pushing off – letting go and pelting down the slopes, trying to stay upright and on track, using my body weight for steering whilst hurtling towards the bottom. You brake with your feet- but as I apparently hardly braked at all, I didn’t put any pressure upwards through my dodgy knees! And consequently had no pain afterwards!
I’d like to pay tribute to our guide, Vroni
Vroni lives in Wengen and knows the area intimately and is passionate about it– she reads the landscape and weather conditions masterfully and of course safety is her priority. Through her briefings, I felt well prepared for each adventure I opted for. But she’s also about giving guests the best experience – she’s warm, friendly and funny and just wants the best for everyone.
One of the other wonderful things about the whole experience was that any spills we had – and there were a few – we landed in deep, soft snow. It does remove several layers of fear that in landing you’re not likely to hurt yourself.
When I got to the end of the 10k run I felt like I had ‘conquered’ the mountain! You can choose to just do part of the run- but I wasn’t intending on making it any shorter! It rekindled in me the passion, the fun and adventure that I thought I’d had to leave behind.
Gut feelings are there to keep us safe, but also, it seems- to remind us of who we are and where our pleasure lies!
On reflection, I realise that Walking Women holidays give me permission as a heterosexual married woman, to do things where I can be myself and embrace my good health without causing resentment in my partner. There are things as a couple we can’t do because my husband has health issues – but we can still enjoy lovely holidays with shared interests, knowing that I can challenge myself in ways that I enjoy with WW holidays.
And if you are curious about where my original childhood feelings of total gut exhilaration relating to tobogganing came from, then picture this: I grew up on a farm – teenage friends came by on a deep snowy day- we grabbed fertiliser bags from the barn and the bonnet of an old Morris Minor car languishing on the rubbish tip and headed for the slope that ran down to the quarry ! Steep and dangerous in itself, without adding in an ice-run on a sheet of rusty metal with sharp corners! I can really feel that memory – its deep in my gut and informs whole-heartedly where I got my sense of fun and excitement!
Thank you ‘Walking Women’ for creating the right environment for me to rediscover my love of speed, adrenaline and a good belly laugh.
With thanks to Jay Courtney who is helping to collect stories of Still In You – https://www.juicycrones.org.uk
